Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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