Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
