sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
