R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
