I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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