It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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