at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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