It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my poor anus
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
