its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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