evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
