I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
