My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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