So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
