There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
