I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
