put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
