I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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