My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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