have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
