Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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