you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
