I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize