Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
