we have pet lesbian snakes
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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