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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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