Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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