I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
