I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
