This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
