Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
