wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
