the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
