Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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