You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
