How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
