Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm so horny!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm so hungry

(508): View more from Massachusetts

WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

For your pussy...

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(618): View more from Illinois

i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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(925): View more from California

I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

(910): View more from North Carolina

im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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(254): View more from Texas

We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just started talking about how noodles were so good

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(626): View more from California

My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.

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