i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
