I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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