if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we're making bets on your personal life
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
