i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
