I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
