i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
