we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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