booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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