The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
