glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
