dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
