My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
