it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
