Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize