i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
