Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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