Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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