he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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