I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
