I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
