Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
high people should be assigned attendants
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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