So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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