Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize